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A guy decided to go to the brain transplant clinic to refreshen his supply of brains. The secretary informed him that they had three kinds of brains available at that time. Doctors' brains were going for $20 per ounce and lawyers' brains were getting $30 per ounce. And then there were mathematicians' brains which were currently fetching $1000 per ounce.

"A 1000 dollars an ounce!" he cried. "Why are they so expensive?"

"It takes more mathematicians to get an ounce of brains," she explained.

Credit: Matthew Holtz


A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc.

A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.

When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

Credit: Matthew Holtz


Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others." he is told by the doorman (say his name is Pete). Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm.

They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!" "That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80." Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where to you think interest rates are headed?"

Credit: Matthew Holtz


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